The Butler's Journey
by JantoJones
Summary: A set of drabbles charting Ianto's journey from Everything Changes to Exit Wounds. One for each episode in seasons 1 and 2. (Some Janto)


EVERYTHING CHANGES

Ianto watched unseen from the shadows as the lift ascended with Captain Harkness and Pc. Cooper. Owen and Tosh had just left via the main entrance which left Suzie. She seemed to be waiting until the others had gone. The seemingly forgotten Ianto soon got to know why. She went back to her station and slid the knife and glove into her bag.

Everyone knew the rules about not taking alien artefacts off base, but everyone did it anyway. The all seeing Welshman knew about Tosh's book reading device and Owen's pheromone spray. They were harmless though. The knife and the glove were far from that. However, Ianto wouldn't say anything to the Captain. The secret he was harbouring was far bigger than some little knife.

DAY ONE

Ianto nudged Jack's office door open with his foot. He had a pile of files in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other. He placed both in front of the Captain.

"Are you okay Sir?"

Jack simply nodded. The small movement clearly indicated that he wasn't in a talking mood.

Ianto discretely left the office, knowing full well what was bothering Jack. Gwen hadn't exactly excelled on her first day by unleashing the gaseous, sex crazed alien on an unsuspecting Cardiff. Of course, Jack wouldn't let Gwen know how angry he was. She was new.

Jack's anger concerned Ianto though. If this was the man's reaction to a rookie mistake, how would he feel about Lisa?

GHOST MACHINE

Ianto laid out the various guns on the table in the firing range. Jack was going to give Gwen her first weapons training, something he'd never done for the Welshman. The captain had figured that since Ianto had been trained in London and he was a non-field operative, he didn't need any.

Ianto was nervous about Jack and Gwen coming down here. The firing range was too close for comfort to the basement in which he had secreted Lisa. Still, Jack had no reason to go to that basement, so he wasn't likely to.

After to making a quick check on Lisa, Ianto made his way back to the main hub and shrouded himself in his demeanour of indifference.

CYBERWOMAN

He had to really concentrate to prevent his hand from shaking. The gun still wavered as he held it in Annie's face. The poor girl, however, was no longer Annie. Lisa had implanted her own brain into the pizza delivery girl's head. She'd been sacrificed in Lisa's insane quest for survival.

Ianto knew he had to kill her. The woman he loved had died long ago, leaving a lethal monster behind. He silently started praying for rescue. He couldn't do this horrific act himself and wished hard for someone else to do it.

From behind him, his prayer was answered.

SMALL WORLDS

Ianto was shocked when Jack placed his hand on his shoulder. There hadn't been any physical contact between them since before Lisa. Their flirtatious relationship had been badly damaged by the recent events and Ianto didn't think it would ever be repaired. Everything each of them did around each other seemed to be carefully choreographed.

This simple touch was enough to give Ianto hope. He loved working at Torchwood and still couldn't believe he'd been allowed to stay. He'd enjoyed the easy relationship he and Jack had had and finally began to believe they could regain it. Maybe even go further.

COUNTRYCIDE

He sat alone on the tailgate of the SUV and tried to ignore the dizziness. He'd temporarily shunned Owen's ministrations but, with the arrival of the paramedics, Ianto knew the doctor would soon be back to him. Suddenly the world tilted, but before the ground came up to hit him, a strong pair of hands took hold of his shoulders.

"Come on Champ." Jack said as he guided Ianto to the back seat of the vehicle. "Let's get you back to the hub. Owen can check you over there."

Ianto allowed himself to be strapped in and he felt unconsciousness creeping up on him. As he drifted off he heard the Captain say;

"You did good today Ianto."

He couldn't be absolutely certain, but he thought he felt Jack kiss him on the forehead.

GREEKS BEARING GIFTS

Ianto's inner conflict was causing him physical pain. The pain of losing Lisa was still very raw but, this was clashing with the feelings he was developing for Jack. He was finding it hard to reconcile his hatred of Jack for taking Lisa from him and his affection for the Captain.

He realised that Tosh was staring at him.

"I'm about to brew some of Jack's industrial strength coffee. Would you like a cup?"

At her refusal, Ianto silently went back to the coffee and his thoughts. Since Lisa's death, Ianto had first felt empty but the void was soon filled with the constant, nagging pain. He needed to get past this. He needed to fully forgive Jack and try to take things further.

THEY KEEP KILLING SUZIE

Ianto stood over Suzie's body in the morgue. He was finishing off the paperwork, trying to figure out exactly what Suzie's cause of death was. Normally, he was fairly efficient at this sort of thing but his mind was occupied with how to make a pass at Jack. He was aware that this was hardly the time but, this being Torchwood, there would never be a right time.

There'd always been something between the captain and himself which went beyond flirting. While Ianto had been happy to play along with the flirting, he'd always seen himself as heterosexual. Jack however, had the power to make people realise that labels like that didn't mean anything.

Ianto became acutely aware of the stopwatch in his pocket. An idea formed in his head and he smiled.

RANDOM SHOES

Ianto opened the glass fronted cabinet and looked through Eugene's 'alien' collection. He doubted that there was a single genuine article amongst them.

Before Torchwood, Ianto had never believed in aliens and considered those who did to be sad geeks. When he'd applied for the job as Junior Researcher at Canary Wharf, he would never have guessed at Torchwood's true nature. Even after two months in the job, he hadn't been wholly convinced aliens existed. He knew different now.

Eugene had simply been looking for answers to the universe. Ianto knew more about what was in the universe than most inhabitants of Earth, yet he was also still searching for the answers.

OUT OF TIME

After helping Jack remove John's body, Ianto returned to his car. He hadn't been happy that Jack had allowed John to commit suicide in it, but understood why after the Captain had explained.

Sitting in the passenger seat, Ianto realised he was sitting where Jack had recently died. He had accompanied John into death so that he wouldn't be alone.

The Welshman wiped a tear from his cheek. He was moved by the sacrifices Jack made, simply to comfort others. Gwen often accused Jack of having no heart, but Ianto saw more than the others did. He often saw his human side.

COMBAT

Ianto understood fully why Owen had stepped into the cage, with the Weevil, so willingly. The medic had fallen hard for Diane and she had flown out of his life without looking back.

Owen was in that very dark place where only despair resided. Ianto knew that place only too well and had spent a long time there after Lisa had died. He prayed that Owen wouldn't spend as long a time there as he had. It could consume your soul if you let it.

Ianto wanted to open up to Owen, to tell him he understood. However, he knew his efforts would be rejected by Dr Harper.

CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS

"All those young soldiers..."

Ianto stared at the faces of the young men who were smiling happily at the camera. Most of them were the same age as Ianto, or younger. He wondered how many, if any, of those men had lived to be a ripe old age.

Ianto doubted very much that he would have been able to do what they'd had to. Torchwood was dangerous, but he still had some measure of control over his life. Those young men hadn't. They went where they were sent and most of them did it with pride. Freedom came with sacrifice.

He was jolted from his reverie by a picture of Jack and Tosh.

END OF DAYS

It had taken Ianto a few days to accept that Jack was going to stay dead this time. Yet, here was the Captain, standing in front of him, as large as life. Not knowing what else to do, he held his hand out to shake Jack's.

Ianto quickly found himself in a warm embrace, but before he could get used to it, Jack was kissing him. This was the first time they'd kissed in front of the others. Far for being embarrassed, Ianto's only thought was that Jack had returned to him.

He reciprocated the kiss and longed to remain in it forever. All too soon, Jack pulled away and went to console Owen.

KISS KISS, BANG BANG

Ianto stared at the gun with puzzlement. He was absolutely certain he hadn't pulled the trigger and he hadn't felt the weapon fire. Yet the blowfish was dead and its brains were sliding down the curtains. The shot must have come from behind him. Ianto turned around and his heart froze in his chest.

Jack.

His first instinct was to wrap his arms around the Captain and hold him until he could physically hold him no more.

His second was to wrap his hands around Jack's throat. How dare he come waltzing back with that charming grin of his?

SLEEPER

Ianto was helping Tosh to wipe all of the CCTV evidence of the sleeper cell. This meant he was unfortunate enough to see the woman let the pram freewheel into the stream of traffic. It was glanced by a fast moving car which sent it spinning on its side.

He continued to watch, horrified, as a passer-by plucked the baby from the pram. It looked like it was crying. Ianto didn't understand. Surely the child couldn't have survived.

Temporarily, Ianto abandoned his task and set about finding the baby. It didn't take long to discover it had been taken to the Cardiff Royal Infirmary. Miraculously, she had come out of her ordeal unscathed.

TO THE LAST MAN

Tommy would soon be back in his own time and this caused Ianto to be struck with a cold fear. What if Jack wanted to go back to his own time?

The Captain had already run away from them once. Before that he had stayed dead for so long that everyone was convinced it was finally his end. Ianto couldn't bear to lose him for a third time. As much as he hated to admit it, he was falling for Jack. His heart was becoming fully invested in the other man.

Ianto concluded there was no point in simply wondering. He'd have to ask Jack outright.

MEAT

Ianto was not pleased. It was all fine and noble for Jack to want to rescue the captive space creature, but he hadn't given a thought as to where it was going to live. Owen had ascertained it was probably a water dweller but they couldn't exactly stick it in the bay.

Then there was the whole issue of food. Ianto prided himself on being able to source just about anything but feeding the creature was going to get expensive. Plus, of course, where was he going to store it?

Ianto knew he would find the solutions; he always did in the end. It didn't mean he had to be happy about it though.

ADAM

He remembered feeling no guilt with the first girl. As her life had ebbed through his fingers it seemed to flow into his bloodstream. It made him feel almost immortal.

He remembered the same sense of power with the second girl. This time though, there was a nagging voice at the back of his mind telling him that something wasn't right.

With the third girl, he remembered the guilt becoming the overriding emotion as the sense of power diminished. He'd been lucky to have Adam to turn to each time. He didn't know what he would have done without him.

Ianto sat on the floor and cried for the murdered women. A short while later, the cogwheel door rolled open.

"Jack."

RESET

Ianto sat on the hub's battered old sofa and tried to fill out the pre-mission report. Unfortunately, Martha had told him about Jack's request for a red U.N.I.T cap. Now, that was all he could think about.

In his mind's eye, he could she himself stark naked, apart from the cap and standing to attention in more ways than one. The Captain would issue his orders and Ianto would get busy seeing to Jack's needs.

"Daydreaming about me, I hope."

Ianto looked up at Jack and followed the other man's gaze down to his own groin. He quickly repositioned the file to cover the hard-on he was now sporting.

DEAD MAN WALKING

"Need a weapon, need a weapon."

Ianto muttered the words like a mantra as he searched for something to defend himself from the glove. The thing was skittering around the autopsy room like the Thing from The Addams Family.

His eyes darted around the hub looking for something suitable. Deciding he was going to have to start carrying his gun at all times from now on, Ianto's eyes came to rest on the door of Jack's office. He knew the perfect weapon was in there.

He grabbed Jack's hockey stick and went back to help look for the glove.

A DAY IN THE DEATH

As they waved Martha off, Ianto was ashamed to find himself a little bit relieved. It wasn't that he saw her as a rival for Jack's affections, but the two of them had a connection which Ianto was slightly envious of.

At the same time, it had been nice having her around. She'd been a huge help with the whole, Owen 'being the walking dead' situation. It was also no bad thing to have another good looking woman in the hub.

Still, he was glad she was going back to London. She may be an old friend of Jack's, but she was still U.N.I.T.

SOMETHING BORROWED

Jealousy stabbed through Ianto's heart as he watched Jack dancing with Gwen. He could see how much the Captain loved, the new Mrs Williams. Of course, he had known from the moment Gwen had joined Torchwood. Jack had never claimed to be a one person man.

There was only one thing for it. Ianto attracted the attention of one of Rhys' mates and handed the DJing over to him. He straightened his tie, took a deep breath and walked over to the dancing pair.

"May I cut in?"

He resolutely ignored Jack's reluctance to let Gwen go, just simply enjoyed being in the Captain's arms.

FROM OUT OF THE RAIN

They'd failed. He'd failed.

The Ghost Maker and his followers had been destroyed, but there was only one soul left in the flask. Ianto would never forgive himself for allowing it to happen. He should have been faster.

He heard Jack trying to reassure him that saving one better than none. To Ianto's mind though, they should have saved them all. That was Torchwood's job. They were supposed to protect everyone.

Now, he had to go to the hospital and discover which ones he'd not been quick enough for. To find out which ones would haunt his nightmares for a long time to come.

ADRIFT

Frantically, Ianto ripped off his shirt while kissing Jack with such amazing fervour. The captain kissed him back like a starving man discovering a feast. Once the shirt was gone, Ianto fumbled open Jack's belt and trousers.

The hothouse was definitely Ianto's favourite place for sex. He enjoyed the idea that they could get caught at any moment. Then there was the thrill of it all being recorded on CCTV. They often watched the recordings back before erasing them.

Ianto slid his hand into Jack's boxer shorts. As he came into contact with the captain's cock, the other man moaned deeply, but the kissing didn't stop. Not until Gwen opened the door.

FRAGMENTS

His hand scrabbled futilely at the debris. Ianto knew he had no chance at freeing himself from the rubble which had half buried him. He also knew that the others had found  
explosive devices and were most probably in the same situation as he was. Their only hope was Gwen.

Ianto's whole body seemed to be burning. He tried to convince himself that this was a good thing. If he could feel the pain, he was still alive. How long for though? Ianto could feel death creeping in. Maybe it was time to stop fighting and finally let go.

"Ianto!"

Then again, Jack would never forgive him.

EXIT WOUNDS

Ianto tried to disassociate himself from what he was doing. He endeavoured to pretend that the blood he was mopping up, did not belong to Tosh. But, he couldn't pretend while his heart was being ripped from his chest.

The job was taking Ianto longer than it should have. He was having difficulty dealing with the deaths of Tosh and Owen. He momentarily zoned out and was startled back by hands touching his shoulders.

Without saying a word, Jack and Gwen grabbed sponges and knelt down to help clean up. Ianto was more grateful than he could ever have expressed.


End file.
